just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
