WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
