Jerry, you need to find god
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
