You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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