What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
