i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
