God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize