Me too!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
