i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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