There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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