i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
