Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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