If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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