the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
