you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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