Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
