Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Where did you get a picture of my penis

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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(407): View more from Florida

Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits

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(226): View more from Ontario

wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

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(847): View more from Illinois

Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.

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