I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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