i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
