why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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