All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I supernannyed him into submission
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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