Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there was a trapeze. enough said
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
