So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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