belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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