she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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