I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
