I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Panties = found
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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