420 ftw
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
