you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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