I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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