i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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