i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
