This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
