I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
then he tried to convert me to islam
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
