She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
