I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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