We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
