i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
