i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
