It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
