Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
