sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
