Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
