i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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