We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
