I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
