I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's blow job season.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize