Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
