Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
