at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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