Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
