YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize