haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i came on her dog
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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