Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
