Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
