i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
