Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
