Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
